If you are considering couples therapy, ask yourself the following questions…
Have you and your partner stopped having sex completely?
Do you want sex to be different or more exciting?
Are you and/or your partner emotionally or physically abusive?
Do you and your partner have completely different perspectives about managing finances and spending money?
Do you and your partner have trouble communicating without lashing out or shutting down?
Do you feel disconnected from each other but can’t figure out why?
Do you feel like you’re not heard?
Do you feel grief about the loss of your relationship as is once was?
Do you and/or your partner not trust one another?
Do you feel resentful more often than not and have difficulty letting go of resentments?
Do you blame each other for the problems in the relationship?
Do you find that, despite wanting to be connected, you and/or your partner/spouse are unable to be vulnerable with each other?
Do you feel as though your relationship is not an equal partnership?
If you answered yes to any of these questions and want to discover how to achieve the intimacy and connection you desire or once had with your partner, couples therapy can help.
Often when we are emotionally attached or invested in another person, particularly a partner or spouse, we lose our ability to be neutral and non-reactive in triggering moments or situations. When we get triggered, we commonly project onto the other person our own interpretations of what we think they said based on our own beliefs and experiences. Without the tools to communicate in a healthy way, partners shut down, withdraw, rage, become defensive and lose the ability to be relational with one another. While what most couples want more than anything is to resolve conflict effectively, listen to each other’s perspective without judgment and feel and offer empathy towards each other even in times of disagreement, highly charged or triggering words or actions can cause vulnerability and intimacy to go out the window. During these times, loving feelings are temporarily replaced with hostility,
Couples therapy offers a safe forum in which to share intimately, vulnerably, respectfully and authentically. With the help of an objective third party, couples are better able to listen to each other and work through painful issues without the veil of protection they may wear outside the therapy office to protect themselves from getting hurt. Couples therapy can help heal relationships and allow partners to discover new ways of understanding, connecting and communicating with each other; ways that foster trust, safety and intimacy.